God vs. Humans

Below is an "essay" I wrote for my philosophy class back as a freshman in college (I am a senior now!) I've kept is all these years because I liked some of the points I made, so I wanted to finally share it. I did change a few things, since I have obviously changed a bit since I first wrote this, but I tried to keep it original as possible. This is a piece on some statements my professor said for us to write about, including evil in the world and suffering disproving the existence of God. These are just my opinions, so please respect that. I would love to hear what you think in the comments about anything I mentioned below!

I absolutely disagree with the statement that "the fact that there is evil in the world and that religions are often guilty of evil themselves, rule out the existence of a loving God". God and humans are totally different. God doesn't commit evil, humans do. God doesn't make mistakes, humans do. God is just and fair, humans are not always just and fair. Using humans to define something like religion or even God is not right. Similarly, some people think marriage is a bad idea because it can lead to divorce, abuse, etc. Marriage as a system shouldn't be blamed, rather the people involved. Humans are the ones who make a system like marriage or government good or bad in practice.

Yes, many people do proclaim faith in God or religion, but their actions alone shouldn't be used to judged the religion and definitely not God. There have always been people doing bad deeds, so they are the ones to blame, not God. If somebody sincerely wants to learn about a religion or God in a specific religion, the individual should learn from authentic sources the religion provides, whether a holy book or traditional texts, not on the people who to "claim" to practice/ follow it.

With regards to the evil in this world, just because there is a God that doesn't mean the world will always be in peace (or else Heaven would lose its value :). God sent messengers to humankind to live according to His rules and be an example to later generations so everyone can benefit. For example, people shouldn't steal what is not theirs. If they do, they (should) get punished. It is only fair. Likewise, if people choose not to live according to God's rules, they (should) get punished too. God created us and everything in the universe, provides, protects, and sustains us. Therefore, God can punish people if they do something they shouldn't have and went against His commands. That is God's right! People go about fighting for their rights not  thinking that the One who created them has rights over them too (like recognizing His existences and worshipping Him alone without partners)!

Some people make up excuses as to why they did something they shouldn't have. They even go as far as to say "it was meant to happen". First of all, we can all justify everything, good or bad, that we do. It's not always right, but we do it anyways because to us, we think it is okay. Secondly, God didn't force a person to do bad. Freedom of choice was given to humans and some abuse and take advantage of this by doing things they know they shouldn't. We all like to think we are free (even though freedom isn't really free), yet we don't want to take responsibility, especially when something bad happens as a result of our actions. This leads to suffering.

Of all the excuses people make trying to disprove the existence of God is the one of "innocent" people suffering. Unfortunately, many people do suffer through harsh conditions like natural disasters and war, but that is life. The saying that life isn't easy is true! God puts people through tests to see who amongst them is patient and remembers Him in times of hardship, seeking His mercy and forgiveness. Life was never meant to be easy, so people shouldn't expect absolute good at all times. And anyways, how much intervention from God do people want? If a person is about to fall off a ladder, is God supposed to send down a mattress to prevent them from getting hurt? Besides the innocent people suffering, many times people think they don't deserve to suffer even a little bit, but usually they do deserve it. I know it is hard to hear and even admit, but I think it is true. Humans don't want to recognize their faults/ sins, so they are quick to blame others, including God!

My Future as a Diverse Educator

This post is of my follow up assignment to my My History as a Diverse Learner essay. Like I mentioned in that post, since I have started my education courses this past semester, I have decided to share some of my work from those classes. I am also considering whether to share my unit/ lesson plans here too, so if you would like to see those, let me know in the comments below!

As a future elementary (K-6) school educator, I will have an important role and responsibility in teaching and caring for my students. I started my education courses this semester, so I have become a little familiar with the “life” and work of a future educator. Although I will have guidelines to follow when it comes to what I have to teach/ follow, I believe as long as my units/ lessons are grade level appropriate, engaging, and enjoyable, any topic should be fair game. Since designing a few unit/ lesson plans for the first time this semester, I know how time consuming and sometimes frustrating it can be to come up with a topic and ideas to teach it. However, by the end it can be rewarding if the teacher and students enjoy the process and results

I would like to put this semester’s unit/lesson plans to use on world languages and culture, fairy tales, and the human body. Even after some tweaking, I would prefer to put the hard work I have done in coming up with content for lesson/ unit plans to use. As I progress in my courses, I will try to continue to come up with lesson/ unit plan ideas that can be used in the future by either me or other educators.

I believe all students can learn if they make the effort to and realize the importance of an education. Multiple intelligences should be in the back of a teacher’s mind when brainstorming ideas, teaching, and interacting with students. Everyone has all of the nine multiple intelligences, but also strengths and room for improvement in different areas. I think a mix of both authentic and traditional assessment in class would work better. Everyone learns in different ways, so catering to those needs in as many ways as possible will allow for a better idea of progress/ evaluation. Students should be given occasional quizzes/ tests instead of heavily focusing on just those for evaluation while still being assigned bigger, hands on, real-world experience assignments where students learn on their own instead of always relying on the teacher.

Educators have a responsibility in getting knowledge and skills across to the students under their care. Using a variety of techniques and materials to present information in an engaging and enjoyable way for both students and teacher will allow for a more meaningful and memorable experience. For example, I have noticed when volunteering at a school that using technology enhances the classroom. A 5th grade English teacher from whom I was learning techniques had her class do presentations using PowerPoint and Prezi on vocabulary words. This had the students up on their feet, let them develop speaking skills in front of an audience, gave them an opportunity to work with computer software, and be creative. The students seemed to enjoy seeing their classmates work and their own presented with graphics and audio. This would be a good idea to have my future students do to acquire similar skills instead of the teacher presenting information all the time.

I learned something useful about maintaining an effective classroom while completing my 20 hour observation this semester. I felt the teacher I was observing was hard on the students. Generally, the students were extremely quiet and didn't look like they were happy to be in class. From an outsider's perspective, it looked like they were more afraid of their teacher who dealt with her class as if they were in boot camp. If the teacher is too friendly and easy going, some students might take advantage of them and not take the teacher seriously. However, if the teacher is too strict, students will hesitate to interact with the teacher, not ask for help/ questions, etc. Being too nice or too strict has problems. I would take a middle approach and keep things peaceful during most of the class time and when necessary, make it obvious to students that I am serious and that they need to get their behavior/work together without yelling.

Overall, I have learned a lot with regards to being a future educator. Nonetheless, there is much to learn, understand, and experience to make my teaching and student’s learning experience as best as it can be. This is just the beginning of a lifelong mission to teach and teach well!

My History as a Diverse Learner

Since I have started my education courses this past semester, I have decided to share some of my work from those classes. This essay in particular is not to show off, gain sympathy, etc. It is just to share my journey of learning through (public) school. (I use this blog to save writings that I like, want to go back to in the future, or just to share with others.)

Despite my appearance and what some people assume about me, I was born and raised in the USA and thus, I didn’t have trouble with the English language. I actually consider myself fluent in English rather than my parent’s language, Bangla. I understood what I was being taught in school from a young age and displayed my skills by getting on the Honor Roll and Principal’s List from as early as 2nd grade. I looked forward to going to school daily as a 4th grader. I loved learning, being with my friends and teachers, and generally had fun in school. My homeroom/ Math teacher and aid were my favorite teachers. Mrs. Alia and Ms. Hill made me feel accepted and gifted in school, which motivated me to do well and kept my interest. They taught their subject with enthusiasm and helped us better understand the material. The big classroom itself was welcoming with its bright lights, posters on the wall, and overall organized room. It was actually thanks to Mrs. Alia and Ms. Hill that I wanted to become a teacher since I was in 4th grade. But the good school days were about to end as I entered 5th grade.

As a 5th grader, I started to wear a headscarf (hijab in Arabic) for the first time for religious reasons. Due to this and other reasons, classmates started to bully me. My grades didn’t really suffer although I didn’t enjoy school like I used to. In fact, I started to hate school at this point. I’m sure my teacher noticed the bullies, but for some reason, she nor any other staff member did anything to help me. I didn’t get my parents involved because I didn't want to make a big deal and I thought that if the bullies figured I was bothered enough to get my parents involved, they would have leverage over me. My "friends" weren't much help either. They laughed away as one bully in particular constantly embarrassed me. That year as a fifth grader I didn't feel accepted whatsoever. Classmates were intolerant of the changes I went through and made it obvious. So I basically endured the bullying and hate in silence for the rest of the school year.

Fast forward to 8th grade. Almost all my classmates and teachers got used to me wearing a headscarf and accepted the change by now. I had a group of friends that made going to school enjoyable again. Two of my favorite subjects were Math and Science. My Math teacher taught her lessons extremely well on an overhead projector so everything was neat and logical. She would also have students go up on the board and do problems so she could see that we understood and for us to explain our work to classmates. Again, her classroom was also organized and welcoming. She had desks in groups of 5-6 with at least 1-2 students in each group to help the others. My science teacher may not have been as neat and organized, but the subject was interesting enough to make it one of my favorites.

By senior year in high school, I was comfortable in my “skin” and it showed in almost everything I did. I work better by myself, but when it came to working in a group/ as a team, I tend to take the lead. I had some of the best teachers of my schooling as a senior in high school too. My teachers valued the hard work I put into their class and extracurricular activities. The teachers themselves were very dedicated, humorous, hardworking, organized, helpful, approachable, encouraging and creative, so it wasn’t hard to enjoy being in their company and learning from them. All the good traits I found in my teachers made my learning and overall school experience that much more worthwhile.

Being in university now, learning is different than it was in the past. Now, I have to take more responsibility for my education and what I get out of it. College is a privilege, so I try to do my best as a student. Not all professors have done their job well. Others were surprisingly great. Although some classes had a lot of work required, by the end of the semester I realized those were some of the best classes. Not because I got good grades in them or the professor went above expectations, but because I learned so much as their student. The wide variety of subjects is also very interesting in my opinion because even though we all might have a specific career in mind, it is still good to know a little bit about different areas.

The quest for knowledge and learning won’t end for me after I graduate. There is still so much more I want to learn and experience! As a future teacher, learning with my students will undoubtedly take place. After all, learning never truly stops no matter what our age may be.

Frank McCourt's Teacher Man... again!

I decided to share my adopt a writer "project" that I did for my Creative Non-fiction class last semester. As you may have noticed from the title, this post is about Frank McCourt's book, Teacher Man, which I have reviewed in the past here. I am putting this up because I am doing another analysis of his writing style, but in a different format and I wanted to eventually share that as well to compare the two. This might not interest everyone, but as an English Writing major, this is some of the work I do at uni. Nevertheless, I hope you get something out of reading this (and my other posts ;)

Teacher Man by Frank McCourt is a memoir about his 30 years of experience teaching. His career as a teacher helped in his next career as a writer, providing him with content and experience with the English language. Teacher Man is one of McCourt's books and has a distinct style. Diction, point of view, informal/ slang language, dialogue, punctuation, and imagery, are some ways McCourt differentiates his writing style of Teacher Man.

Diction is clearly one of the important ways that a writer's style stands out. Within a writer's word choice is what point of view they are writing in. For example, McCourt chooses to write his book in the first person point of view. He uses "I" right from the start, making it obvious to readers that this book is a personal account, but worth sharing, hence the memoir. McCourt begins by writing, "Here they come. And I'm not ready. How could I be? I'm a new teacher and learning on the job" (11). McCourt stays in the first person perspective all the way to the end. He concludes Teacher Man with, "The bell rings and they sprinkle me with confetti. I am told to have a good life. I wish them the same… I'll try" (258). In the first quote, readers might sympathize with McCourt as a new teacher, but by the end, readers get a sense that McCourt survived teaching that year. By using first person pronouns, McCourt establishes a relationship with his readers.

Furthermore, McCourt uses informal/ slang words, both as his own and quoted from other characters in his book. When McCourt recounts an unexpected visit from a parent, he writes it the way the parent spoke. On page 92 it is written, "This teacher here to learn youse kids. Youse don’t lissena the teacher youse don’t graduate. Youse don’t graduate youse wind up on the piers in some dead-end job. Youse don’t lissena teacher youse doin' yourselves no favor. Unnerstand what I'm tellin youse?" McCourt even mentions some of his students saying “management could kiss their ass” (141). Later on, McCourt says himself, “You know your role: if the little buggers piss you off from time to time, suffer man, suffer”(152). McCourt doesn’t hesitate to incorporate both formal and informal speech in his writing, making his work casual and adding variety.

Along with his informal word choice, McCourt adds a lot of dialogue in Teacher Man, but not in the typical way with proper punctuation. For example, McCourt writes, “Petey said, Yo teacher, that’s my sandwich you [et]. Class told him, Shaddap. Can’t you see the teacher is eating? I licked my fingers. I said, Yum, made a ball of paper bag and wax paper and flipped it into the trash basket. The class cheered. Wow, they said, and Yo, baby, and M-a-a-an. Look at dat” (17). Just like the above quote from a parent, McCourt adds the student’s reaction just as they must have said them. Many times, people speak and write differently depending on their environment, but here McCourt keeps the language authentic to how it was said.

Finally, a writer’s use of details comes into play with their style. McCourt describes scenes for readers to visualize what he wants them to “see”. For example, McCourt adds details to help show his nervousness as in, “I toy with the implements of my new calling: five manila folders, one for each class; a clump of crumbling rubber bands; a block of wartime composition paper flecked with whatever went into the making of it; a worn blackboard eraser; a stack of white cards…” (11). These little details help readers paint a picture in their head while reading. When describing a student’s reaction to hundreds of little watercolor jars, McCourt writes, “He pushes back the hood and the hair flames. I tell him I’ve never seen such red hair and he grins. He works at the sink for hours, spooning out the old paste into a large pickle jar, scrubbing the caps, arranging the jars on shelves… Could he take the jars home? His cheeks are wet”(98). Readers can picture these and many more scenes unfolding before their eyes thanks to McCourt’s imagery.

The overall book has a specific way it was organized. Teacher Man was broken up into three parts: It’s a long way to pedagogy, Donkey on a thistle, and Coming alive in room 205. These three parts separates the book into a beginning, middle, and end of McCourt’s journey through the American education system. It all begins though, with a prologue, introducing McCourt a bit, but more importantly, his subject on teachers. There are a total of 18 untitled chapters, which many authors choose to do too. The chapters speak for themselves so titles aren’t really necessary.

Frank McCourt’s memoir is not only a good read for future or current teachers, but it also provides an idea on his personal writing style that anyone could appreciate. His word choice is easily noticeable where he uses a variety of informal/ slang language incorporated in dialogue. McCourt’s imagery shows readers what is going on in his scenes that he describes and his point of view keeps the personality of his memoir intact while providing readers a glimpse of his life-long experiences. Overall, there is much to gain out of reading Teacher Man.

Room Full of Magic

Another assignment for my Creative Non-fiction class this past semester. We had to choose a place to write about in as much details possible, so I choose the subject below. I changed a few words to keep some specifics private, but it is mostly in its final revised form. Enjoy!

Libraries are such magical places; at least to those who enjoy reading for fun. As someone who loves to read, I still look forward to my trips to the public library. I can’t imagine a town without a library and how it would hurt young children who go there not just to borrow books for free, but also DVDs if they are provided.                                                             

I still use my first library card from almost 10 years ago. The yellowing plastic card has so much value to it. You can borrow books and DVDs for free! The children’s section was my favorite spot to go to. It has seen some changes when the library got renovated last year, but the changes made it even better. You understood that right, I still love the children’s section .                  
                                                                                       
When you walk in by the front door and take a right past the front desk and tall wooden shelves full of books for teenagers to adults, you come to some shorter shelves where books are being sold for under a dollar. I found some great finds there last year, and highly suggest any reader on a budget to check these shelves out. With those shelves on the left side, if you turn to the right, the children’s room awaits you.                                                                                          

On a beautiful day, the sun shines through the large windows casting the room in natural light as if the sun is welcoming you in with a bright smile. Outside these windows, you will get a pleasant view of fresh cut green grass around the library parking lot. Whether you are inside our outside, the environment around the library is clean and peaceful.  
                                                                                                        
"Hello. How are you?" You are warmly greeted by an elderly, but extremely friendly librarian with glasses and long curly blond hair. (She is my favorite!) You can count on her help and her persona is just so sweet you can't help but enjoy your stay. Children will definitely love her too. In front of her desk lies stuffed animals in a circle on the carpeted floor. There is a mini puppet stage there too. When I was younger, I used to wonder what it would feel like to be a librarian. I imagine it as an enjoyable job for anyone who likes being in the company of people and books ;)                  

The numerous wooden shelves of books are inviting to any bookworm. One shelf in particular showcases new books upfront for anyone looking for recently published books. The clean smell of the crisp new pages and colorful cover illustrations draws me in almost every time I visit. This shelf is a good place to start for those who have read almost every book of their liking available at the library, and desperately wants something new to read. The shelves behind are just as fun to search through. I am a long time fantasy reader and there are a ton of books for people with similar taste such as The Children of the Red King series, the infamous Harry Potter series, and more. The bent pages and musty smell of these books testifies to how long they have been on the shelves and passed from reader to reader. Many more genres are available for young readers of any age and interest. Labels are positioned on top of these shelves making it easier to find particular books. 

One of my favorite areas close to the new book stand is the DVD rack. The almost six feet high grey rotating rack is bursting with pleasurable family friendly and child appropriate movies. I have watched about 200 movies in the past four years and many of them were right from here. Disney, DreamWorks Animation, 20th Century Fox, etc. provide an enormous selection for entertainment. I frequently come to this place looking for recent releases. Slowly spinning the rack around, I look through the interesting titles. The eye-catching cover art makes it really hard sometimes to choose just a few movies to borrow for a week. Once you do decide on what to borrow, you can take them to the desk. The librarian is helpful enough to put the materials in a reusable cloth bag for you. Now, you are on your way home to enjoy some great books and/ movies for the rest of the week!

Even now as a college student, the children's room is still inviting. I have reread some of my favorite childhood books over the past summer and this room has made that possible. When I become a future (English) teacher iA, I know I can count on this room to help me incorporate engaging books for kindergarten to 6th grade students. If you have children, teach children, or are looking for entertainment suited for a young audience, the children's room at DDE library is a great resource. 

Get it Over With!

My 2nd and final essay for Critical Writing 2 class this past semester.

Today I give my first oral presentation of the new semester. I walk into class noticing the professor hasn’t arrived yet. Maybe she won't come in today, I think hopefully. The feeling fades quickly since I know that I'll have to get this presentation done sooner or later if I want a good grade. I need to get over my fear of public speaking! I mean, what kind of future teacher is afraid of speaking to a group of people? (I would have to disagree though with people who don’t realize that talking to a group of young children is completely different from talking to peers).  Plus, I worked hard on my presentation, so I do want to show that through my speaking, and being nervous won't help with my confidence. And besides, it could go just like I rehearsed at home. I can pretend I am talking to myself or in front of a mirror instead of 20+ pairs of eyes. One might think that with all these thought in my head justifying the need to conquer my fear, I would get motivated and calm my nerves, but it's just not that easy for me.   

I sense myself getting nervous as the professor finally walks into class. My leg starts shaking up and down, making it obvious that I am feeling uneasy to anyone that notices. As she goes over the plans for the day, I feel my hands get clammy and I try to wipe them down on a clean tissue. When she finally asks who will present first, my hand automatically shoots up. I am sitting at the edge of my chair, like I am about to jump out of a jack-in-the-box. I convince myself to go first. I read somewhere that people tend to remember the first and last thing said better than what comes in the middle, like phone numbers. So why not make my presentation memorable by going first and getting it over with? Then I can relax the rest of the class period.

As the professor gets the computer ready for me, I look around the room at my classmates. Bad mistake. It's like looking down a cliff if you are afraid of heights. Being a quiet student and usually not one to talk much in a big classroom setting to draw attention to myself, I am suddenly reminded of all those people who look at me like I'm an outsider. Like I don’t know much or any English, have an accent, or will do something crazy. Of course these aren't true and now I can prove it to them! I open up my presentation and start with the first slide. Within the first few seconds, I feel my throat get dry as if I've been in the desert. I should have brought up my water bottle with me.I stutter my words a bit like this is the first time I'm seeing my own presentation and start tapping my feet behind the computer stand. As you probably can tell, those first few minutes weren't good, but by the time I got to my 4th slide, I somehow got comfortable in front of the class. Yeah, I spoke a little too fast, but I think I did a lot better than what could have been a nervous breakdown. And although I didn’t get an applause, my presentation grade (an A) made up for all that.

Reflecting on my recent experience giving an oral presentation is new for me. I never wrote about it, nor have I really discussed it, but this made me think of my behavior when I'm on edge. Some people are completely fine speaking in front of a crowd after they get used to it, but I'm sure I'm not the only one still afraid of public speaking, so others can probably relate. I don’t recall noticing nervousness in others as they speak in front of a lot of people, but if I could look at myself give a presentation, I'd probably see the panic in my own face. Maybe others don’t notice it because for me to even say much in class is a surprise, but once I get comfortable around people, I open up pretty easily. Like I previously mentioned, I know I need to get over this fear and of course I'd prefer sooner than later.

For the people who look at me like an outsider mainly because of the way I dress, I use oral presentations as an opportunity for them to get to know me better. Peers could easily catch on that I'm a "normal" human being and I don’t go around doing crazy, dangerous things. I remember last semester I began an oral presentation with a question to the class to get them involved and get an idea of what they think. I shouldn’t have been surprised that not one person out of 20-30 in the room volunteered to make an educated guess, like they were afraid I was going to hurt them for answering my question. The silence was awkward and I hope this doesn’t happen to me as a future teacher. Now that I think about it, I understand how teachers/ professors feel when students don’t answer their questions either.

How exactly do I know that people think I have an accent or don’t understand English? Classmates back in elementary and middle school would talk to me and some other Asian students in an Indian accent thinking it was funny. I am not Indian, nor do I find it amusing making fun of the way people talk. Plus, it's infuriating that some people have the nerve to think it is "okay" to make fun of me and make assumptions about me and my life, but if I was to do the same to them, I would be considered "intolerant". How hypocritical?!

There were also a number of ignorant people in my high school who were bold enough to say things to me as if I didn’t understand their rude comments. Of course I did understand them, but they were troublemakers and I didn't want to make a big deal, so I ignored them. There was a time though when I didn’t ignore one kid. In an art class back in my senior year, the teacher was absent so a random student came into class to "hangout" with his friends. My friend and I were talking in English of course and this kid just came over and stood by us listening to us talk. Suddenly, this boy just starts talking in a made up language, as if he was imitating us. I don’t think I have an accent when I talk in English, but my friend does. I wasn’t going to single her out, so I said to him that we don’t sound like that. He gave his friends, who burst out laughing like this was funny and not rude, a good laugh and left us alone. What else could me and my friend do, so we just left it at that. 

These and many more experiences of being looked at like I'm weird or don’t belong, has helped me grow a "thicker skin" in the sense that I'm use to them and it doesn’t bother me as much as they used to. Of course I would prefer people to at least respect me the way I do to them  even if they don’t like me for some reason or find faults in the way I choose to live my life. So far college life has been smooth sailing thank God, so I haven't had to deal with obvious verbal humiliation or anything. And although I would prefer to sit quietly in class and get my college education, oral presentations get me out of my comfort zone and helps me and others learn.

Everything Happens for a Reason

My first essay for Critical Writing 2 class this past semester. I got use to writing and bringing up religion in my papers, that I forgot some people find it offensive/ inappropriate. This paper made me realize that I need to be more careful about what I write in college...

"In 1990, I was in the last year of my ophthalmology residency at George Washington University hospital in Washington, DC. My second daughter was born a dusky, gunmetal blue from the chest to the toes. Her body was not getting enough blood, and the cause was found to be a coarctation of the aorta -- a critical narrowing in the major artery from the heart. Being a doctor, I understood she needed emergency surgery, with a poor chance of long-term survival. A consultant pediatric cardio-thoracic surgeon was called from across town, and I left him in the neonatal intensive care unit to examine my daughter.

With no companion but my fears, I went to the hospital prayer room and fell to my knees. A product of Christian-American heritage dating back to 1677, nonetheless this was the first time that I even partially recognized God. I say partially, for even then I prayed the prayer of a skeptic, "Oh, God, if you are there . . ." I promised that if God existed, and if He saved my daughter and then guided me to the religion most pleasing to Him, that I would follow. I returned to the neonatal ICU roughly fifteen minutes later, and was shocked when the consultant told me that my daughter would be fine. True to his assessment, within the next two days her condition resolved miraculously, without medicine or surgery. She grew to be a perfectly normal child.

As I said before, I am a doctor. And although the consultant provided a medical explanation for my daughter's miraculous recovery, I simply didn't buy it. I remember him explaining about a patent ductus arteriosis, low oxygenation, and spontaneous resolution. But I also remember thinking, "No," my daughter's salvation was not a medical miracle, but a divine one. Many who make promises to God in moments of panic find or invent excuses to escape their part of the bargain, once God relieves them of their distress. I could easily have assigned my daughter's recovery to the doctor's explanation rather than to a miracle from God. But faith had entered my heart, and it wouldn't leave. We had cardiac ultrasounds taken before and after, showing the stricture one day and gone the next, and all I could think was that God had made good on His part of the deal, and I had to make good on mine. Even if there was a medical explanation, that was nothing more than the pathway by which Almighty God chose to answer my prayer and affect His decree. I did not then, and I do not now, accept any other explanation" (Brown).

Some people might read this incident involving Dr. Laurence B. Brown and his daughter’s survival and say it was just a coincidence or an excuse to "give credit" to God. But how many "coincidences" will it take for some people to actually admit that what happened was meant to be and for a reason? Even in the news, we hear people take a similar stance. If an individual survived an accident, they attribute it to God. They say their survival had a purpose behind it and the ones who didn't survive unfortunately, died for a reason. I know it is a hard concept to grasp and accept for some, but this is what I believe. We may not know, understand, or accept the wisdom behind the event, but that doesn't mean it was just a coincidence.  

Constantly hearing stories like this and experiencing events in my own life, even if they are not life or death situations, made me realize that whatever happens, happens for a good reason. Thank God, my life isn't difficult compared to others, but for the petty issues that seem to stress me out, they exist to test me; test my patience, strength, faith, etc. Thus, the saying "life isn't easy and is a test" is true in my mind. Additionally, I feel that whatever happens, occurs to teach a lesson.

I didn’t automatically come to this conclusion of accepting fate and believing it to occur for a reason. Nor do I go this route because it is "easier" to justify what comes in life and attribute/ blame God instead of arguing and putting up a fight. For some people like myself, events are taken as signs. There is so much a person can take before they realize they need to "open" their eyes, heart, and mind. Just as some interpret dreams and follow them, events, whether extreme or trivial, are looked at in the same way.

For example, I got my driver's license late unlike my older sister and many others around my age. Besides the fact that I didn't want to learn until recently, I just couldn’t pass the road test for one reason or another. This happened a few times. Of course I was upset at first, but then I came to realize that I was probably not passing until I was completely confident in myself and my driving skills. This in turn has probably saved me from getting into an accident and hurting myself or others on the road. This might sound like justification to some people, but I would rather be safe than sorry, especially in a case like this where my mistakes could hurt more people than just myself.

Another personal example was me entering a writing contest in 8th grade. My middle school librarian told me and some other students about a contest where we had to write a short story in Dr. Seuss style. Being a fan of Dr. Seuss's books when I was younger, I started writing my own story. Others quit, but I liked mine so I finished it, illustrations and all, and sent it in. To my surprise, my entry won 1st place in my category! Winning 1st place for the first time in my life was very exciting.

Doing well enough to win a contest motivated and kept my interest in writing. Ever since then, I have been writing for fun and love it. I have entered more writing contests, written a poem to a friend, and another to my high school teachers. Two of my other poems were also published in my high school's literary magazine. In addition to writing for fun, I learned to enjoy writing for school assignments where I get to choose the topic of my interest. During my senior year in high school, I took a journalism class where I became the Editor of my high school's newspaper. My editorial on "Teacher Pay vs. Student Performance", won 1st place in opinion writing!

If I had never continued my short story and submitted it, I would never have won and realized my potential and interest in writing. Due to that single event, I became interested in writing, got noticed by people because of it, won a few contests, and am majoring in English Writing to improve my skills. If all goes well, I may just publish a book in the future like I hope to! 

As I've mentioned, my life has been relatively easy so I don’t have dramatic examples to prove my belief that everything happens for a reason. But even for good things such as the example mentioned above, we don’t see the good results until it happens, even if it is years later. Rather than be depressed or angry, I see the bright side of things without being naïve. I am optimistic, but still realistic.

I don’t know how many situations it takes to convince a person that there is always a reason behind everything. Some may not accept it, but I completely do. I am not just saying this because thank God nothing extreme happened in my life. For minor cases like mine, I believed this, so if anything severe ever happens, I am prepared to see it the same way.

Works Cited

Brown, Laurence B. "Conversion Story." Level Truth. Web. 6 Oct. 2013. http://www.leveltruth.com/author.html.         

Free Will in the Genesis, The Odyssey, and Inferno

Final paper I wrote for my Euro. Lit class this past semester.

Free will has been a topic that many people have discussed and debated over throughout history. Some people acknowledge that they choose their actions and path in life, while others believe in divine decree. The good and bad results are either accepted as one’s own shortcomings or rejected by blaming others or God. This important and interesting topic has not been left out in literature. Based on Genesis, The Odyssey, and Inferno, humans were given free will, which is illustrated when they choose to sin/ disobey God and/ or not follow directions by others; thus they deserve the outcome.

Most importantly, both divine entities and some people recognize that humans were given choices in life, but still choose to do wrong. In The Odyssey, Zeus contemplates human affairs and says, "My word, how mortals take the gods to task! All their afflictions come from us, we hear. And what of their own failings? Greed and folly double the suffering in the lot of man" (Homer 422-423). Here, humans don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and blame the gods instead. Zeus, "the father of gods and men" (422), doesn’t agree. As much as the Greek gods interacted with humans on earth, humans still managed to mess things up amongst themselves.

While on his journey through the different levels of Hell, Dante learns the punishments for sinners on Earth. At first he sympathizes with the ones being punished, but then he admits that people ruin themselves. Dante compares humans who choose to sin to waves. He writes, "How is it that we choose to sin and wither? Like waves above Charybdis, each crashing apart against the one it rushes to meet" (Alighieri 715). People only hurt themselves when they know they are doing wrong. Yet they continue to do so, like waves constantly crashing against others. The end result of facing evil consequences is known, but out of habit or ignorance, people don’t want to do what they know is right.

One of the early examples in literature of humans disobeying God and having to suffer the consequences is described in "The Garden of Eden." Adam and Eve both gave into the temptation from the snake who was encouraging them to disobey God and eat fruit from the forbidden tree. It is written, When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good to eat, and that it was pleasing to the eye and tempting to contemplate, she took some and ate it. She also gave her husband some and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they discovered that they were naked… (Genesis 143). The fact that both Adam and Eve acted upon the suggestion of the snake rather than God, shows that they did this willingly. They could have easily obeyed God who wants what's best for His creations, but they didn’t. As a result, the snake was punished along with Adam and Eve for their disobedience. As for why it was discouraged to eat from the tree of knowledge in the first place, people become arrogant as they learn more and more. This is not to discourage learning, but people question and become too curious. And sometimes curiosity does kill the cat, or the brain.

Adam and Eve's choice in doing the opposite of what was told of them is similar to Odysseus's situation. In The Odyssey, many of the difficulties that Odysseus and his men faced were due to the lack of controlling their desires and heeding warnings. For example, on his journey to Hades, Odysseus was told by the blind prophet Teiresias to stay away from the Sun's flocks on the land of Thrinakia, or else he will suffer more on his journey back home (Homer 563). But Odysseus's men disobeyed orders and, as foretold, they suffered because of this. While Odysseus was asleep, his crew "performed the prayers and ritual, knifed the kine and flayed each carcass, cutting thighbones free to wrap in double folds of fat. These offerings, with strips of meat, were laid upon the fire" (Homer 590-591). As punishment, Helios asked Zeus to punish Odysseus and his men. Because people choose not to follow orders that could save them from trouble, they must learn their lesson the hard way.

As previously mentioned, Dante affirms the belief that humans were given free will. In his Inferno, Dante included a level for neutrals where individuals, who lead uncommitted lives, choosing neither good nor evil during their time on earth, are punished. In Canto III, Dante asked Virgil who the people that are crying out in pain are. Virgil replied, "This is the sorrowful state of souls unsure, whose lives earned neither honor nor bad fame. And they mingled with angels of that base sort who, neither rebellious to God nor faithful to Him, choose neither side, but kept themselves apart" (Alighieri 698-699). According to Dante, neutrals have a place within Hell and are still punished for not committing to either good or bad. He compares this to some "fallen" angels who did likewise. Whether mortal or not, the act of freedom of choice requires accountability for justice.

A look at the reverse position of obeying God and being saved also takes place in Genesis. In the example of Abraham being put to the test of sacrificing his son Isaac, one can see that he didn’t question God's request. Abraham readily went to do as God said: "Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. Then he stretched out his hand and took the knife to kill his son..." (Genesis 150). Before Abraham managed to sacrifice Isaac, an angel stopped him and said he now knows that Abraham is a God-fearing man. Abraham was saved from losing his only son and sacrificed a ram found nearby instead (150-151). Abraham's example is just one on how it is possible to do what is told. As hard as it may be, there is a reason for everything. God knows what will break us and build us as people. Sometimes people do need to suffer to appreciate something or simply because they deserve the consequences. It is hard to admit and hear, but it is true. People don’t want to recognize their faults/ sins, so they are quick to blame others or God.

All in all, humans were given free will as proven by the texts above. Whether in Genesis, The Odyssey, or Inferno, readers can reason that all people have a say in their actions, good and bad. Using God as justification or making excuses for doing bad won't cut it. God didn’t force a person to do bad. People abuse and wrongly take advantage of their freedom and do things they know they shouldn’t. And there actually can be a mix of both free will and divine decree. God did give humans free will to choose between right and wrong, but He already knew what we would do in our lifetime. Even if we were to change our mind at the last minute about a situation, God already knew that because He has knowledge over everything. Whatever God wills to happen, does happen. The opposite is also true.

For the ones who do accept that they have free will, the problem then becomes not taking responsibility, especially at times when something goes wrong. This leads to suffering. Unfortunately, sometimes innocent people do suffer through harsh conditions such as natural disasters, war, etc. But that is life. The saying that life isn't easy is true. God puts everyone through trials, like Abraham (and all his prophets and messengers) to see who amongst them is obedient, patient, and remembers Him in times of hardship, seeking His help and forgiveness. Life was never meant to be easy, so people shouldn’t expect absolute good at all times. And how much intervention from God do people want anyway? If a person is in a dangerous situation like they are about to fall from a ladder, is God supposed to send down a mattress to prevent that fall? Everyone needs to recognize the responsibility that free will comes with and act accordingly if they don’t want to endure the results of their wrong actions.

Works Cited

Alighieri, Dante. "Inferno Canto III." The BedfordAnthology of World Literature. Vol. 2.          Boston: Bedford/St. Martin, 2004. 698-715. Print.

"Genesis." The BedfordAnthology of World Literature. Ed. Paul Davis. Vol. 1. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin, 2004. 143-150. Print.

Homer. "The Odyssey." The BedfordAnthology of World Literature. Vol. 1. Boston: Bedford/ St. Martin, 2004. 422-591. Print.

Reading and Writing in Wonderland

I wrote this essay for my Creative Writing class this past semester about Reading and writing in my life. This is like an extension to my intro. Hope you learn something new about me :)

I am so thankful that I enjoy reading and writing. I know many who don’t like either one or both. I got into reading before writing, but enjoy them both for fun. The first time I was read to was when I was in kindergarten and my older sister would read to me and my younger brother on our sofa bed. She loved to read so she would read us picture books. My 4th grade teacher also read A Series of Unfortunate Events books 1 and 2 to my class, so I finished the rest on my own. I loved reading on my own since I was young. For example, I read Dr. Seuss' books for his rhymes and message and also poetry by Shel Silverstein.

As I got older, reading and writing became two of my favorite hobbies. I remember reading Mary-Kate and Ashley books and also Harry Potter and the Prisoners of Azkaban in 5th grade. I constantly made trips to the school library during my lunch periods throughout middle school, looking for interesting books and helping the librarian, who I eventually became friends with.

My favorite book genre is action/ adventure. Some of my favorite single books include The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkein, The Eighth Scroll by Laurence B. Brown, The Hunt for the Seventh by Christine Morton Shaw, Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed, and Wonder by R.J. Palacio. My favorite series include Echoes by Jamilah Kolocotronis, Fablehaven by Brandon Mull, The Children of the Red King by Jenny Nimmo, and of course Harry Potter by J.K Rowling. I have come across new authors and genres like crime fiction and young adult thanks to recommendations by others and goodreads.com, which I highly recommend bookworms check out.

I’ve been loving this site since a friend told me about it back in 2011. You can keep track of as many books you’ve read from as far back or as current as you want. Users can also add books to their to-read list and update what they are currently-reading. In addition, you can rate, review, and recommend books as well as receive recommendations depending on the type of books you read and are on your shelves. You can enter giveaways or host your own, share you writing, take quizzes, challenge yourself to read a number of books in a year, make friends, and a lot more!

I go on goodreads.com daily (it is my FB ;) According to their site, I've read 157 books so far, have 17 shelves including favorites, children's books, Islamic books, self-help, etc., own 97+ books in my home library collection, and have 6 friends. More details of what I am up to book-wise, like what I am currently reading, can be found at http://www.goodreads.com/sabrinafatima Some of my book related goals consists of reading 50 book in 2013 and to give away some of my books to friends and/or book sales. In addition, I want to do a bookshelf "tour and decor" on my reading and writing blog and become a Barnes and Noble member soon.

Along with reading, I enjoy watching movies. Many of these movies are based off of books. Unlike some people I know, I don’t hate movies based off of books because of the lack of accuracy. Instead, I like to see the images I had in mind put to life by the directors. So it is rare for me to hate a movie that was based off a book I like or plan to read. Some of the movies that were inspired by books and that I like are the infamous Harry Potter series, The Chronicles of Narnia movies 1-3, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lighting Thief, and The Hunger Games. I look forward to continue watching Percy's adventures in the second movie as well as the second movie to The Hunger Games, both coming out in the near future. 

While I loved to read since I was young, and got into movies a few years ago, my interest in writing began when I was in 8th grade. My middle school librarian told me and some other students about a contest where we had to write a short story in Dr. Seuss style. Being a fan of Dr. Seuss's books, I started writing my own story. Others quit, but I liked mine so I finished it, illustrations and all, and sent it in. My entry, "The Purple Blurble," was about a curious boy going on a trip to learn about the extinction of blurbles after sneezles made life difficult for them. A few lines from my short story includes: "Well thank you for all the help and letting me understand/ The importance of all living beings, they each have a role to play like in a marching band/ We should assist all of God’s creations instead of breaking them apart/ I thank you again from deep within my heart.” The entire piece can be found on my reading and writing blog at sfraww.blogspot.com/2010/07/purple-blurble.html. To my surprise, I won 1st place in my category!

Winning 1st place for the first time in my life was very exciting. I found out the day I was invited to The Brownstone for participating in the contest. Being 1 of 10 winners, I had to read my writing out loud to the audience. I was nervous, but got through it. After all the readings, we had time to eat and take pictures. While I was eating a fruit salad, some people came up to congratulate me, like a school principal and my elementary school librarian. I received a certificate and a gift card to Borders, which came in handy for books to take on summer vacation to England and Bangladesh that summer of 2007.

Doing well enough to win a contest motivated and kept my interest in writing. Ever since then, I have been writing for fun and love it. I have entered more writing contests, written a poem to a friend, and another to my high school teachers. Two of my other poems were also published in my high school's literary magazine. In addition to writing for fun, I learned to enjoy writing for school assignments where I get to choose the topic of my interest. During my senior year in high school, I took a journalism class where I became the Editor of my high school's newspaper, The Torch, and wrote numerous articles and designed layouts. One of these, my editorial on teacher pay vs. student performance, won 1st place in opinion writing!

I like to share and get feedback on my writing, so in January 2013, I joined writing.com. Here, users can do both of what I was looking for. People give helpful reviews of one's writing and there are many opportunities to enter contests. Great tips for writers can also be found on this site. My writing can be found at http://Writing.Com/authors/knowledgeseekr

Another place I share my writing to the public is on my reading and writing blog. I started my blog in 2010 just to share my writing and also some tips I learned, but since December 2012, I decided to include book related posts. I try to consistently post every Sunday. Some of these blog posts are my writings, both for school and fun, like journal entries, poems, memoirs, and research papers. With regards to books, I try to put up book hauls, reviews, "tags," etc.

Islam is very important to me and my lifestyle so I try to incorporate my religion and complete way of life in my writing in whatever way I can. I want to finish an article I had started a long time ago on my Islamic recommendations to the youth. I also want to continue writing more poetry, which is my favorite type of writing. Intro. to Creative Writing class helped me write my first lengthy short story, so I want to brainstorm more ideas and get some started. In addition, I want to write more book reviews. Some books I want to review are Laurence B. Brown's The Eighth Scroll, The Returned, and The Zion Deception (once I read the latter) and The Game of Triumphs books 1 and 2 by Laura Powell because these are not mainstream books. All of these writings and reviews can be found on RAWW.

I still continue to read and write for fun as much as possible to this day. I journal daily and blog on Sundays. I also have a number of other blogs I manage weekly about Islam. Overall, I love literature, whether in the form of novels or creative writing. Since I love to read and write, I am majoring in English Writing as well as Elementary and Middle School Education. I hope to become a better and more frequent writer through my writing classes, journaling, blogging, and writing for fun at home. I also want to encourage young children to get into reading and writing from a young age, since both are needed for everything in life. God willing, I write a book in the future that many will like to read and recommend!

Hypocrisy in Huck's Civilization

My 3rd paper for American Lit. class this past semester.

The term "civilized behavior" is one that has been mentioned back in history and is still discussed today. The issue of slavery is one of the biggest examples of what was thought about when it came to civilizing a group of people. For a more modern situation, we all know that we shouldn’t steal and this is not good behavior. There is a country in central Africa where stealing isn't punishable. Societies like these determine what is acceptable or not. What one person/society may accept, others won't. There is no universal standard for good and bad in situations like these. In Mark Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, characters such as Huck, Miss Watson, Pap, Tom, etc., show themselves and their rules to be hypocritical. Critics Julius Lester, Justin Kaplan, and Shelly Fishkin further emphasize how Huck's society is hypocritical in their treatment of Jim.

Primarily, the widow Douglass and Miss Watson were the first ones to open Huck's eyes to what their society considered acceptable or not. Both of these characters tried to educate Huck when it came to the Bible, Heaven and Hell, spelling, and proper manners (Twain 132). Huck wanted to smoke, but the widow wouldn’t allow it. In reply to his request, "She said it was a mean practice and wasn’t clean, and I must try to not do it anymore…And she took snuff too; of course that was alright, because she done it herself" (132). As minor as it is, the widow didn’t like for Huck to smoke, yet she did this herself. Smoking is bad for everyone, so for an elderly woman such Ms. Douglass to do this and not allow a young boy to smoke is surprising. Huck eventually got tired of all the "sivilizing" and double standards in his community, so he did whatever he wanted, including smoking, once he got the chance. 

Soon after this experience with the widow, Huck had to deal with his "uncivilized white father." Parents are known for wanting the best for their children, but apparently Pap had something against Huck having a home and getting an education. Pap would constantly get drunk: "He was going down to town to get some whiskey… next day he was drunk… pap took it [Huck's three dollars] and got drunk" (Twain 143). He would also curse at everyone and everything: "Then the old man got to cussing, and cussed everything and everybody he could think of, and then cussed them all over again to make sure he hadn't skipped any" (146). None of these describe a civilized person, let alone a parent.

Pap wanted custody of Huck, mostly for his money. Pap thought there was nothing wrong with taking Huck away from the sisters who adopted him, so Pap went to court. Judge Thatcher and the widow tried to take Huck away from his father and be Huck's guardian instead, but a new judge had come and didn’t know Pap's history, "so he said courts mustn't interfere and separate families if they could help it; said he'd [rather] not take a child away from its father. So Judge Thatcher and the widow had to quit on the business" (Twain 143). The logic behind the new judge's verdict is flawed. The judge made it possible for Pap to mercilessly beat Huck and lock him away from the outside world. Huck described his situation saying, "Pap got too handy with his hick'ry, and I couldn’t stand it. I was all over welts. He got to going away so much too, and locking me in. Once he locked me in and was gone three days" (Twain 145). Neither Pap nor the judge were correct in their behavior. As two men who had power over Huck's welfare, their backward mentality jeopardized Huck instead and convinced him to run away.  

The widow tried to do what she thought best for Huck, but her sister Miss Watson was more hypocritical than caring. As much as Miss Watson wanted to improve Huck's behavior, she wasn’t very moral herself. Like many people in the time period of Twain's story, slavery was a common practice, so it wasn’t surprising for Miss Watson to own a slave herself. While it was common, it didn’t make this practice ethical. Jim was her household slave, but when he overheard Miss Watson talking about selling him to a plantation, Jim ran away. Jim told Huck his story when they both meet as runaways on an island: "Miss Watson- she pecks on me all [the] time, [and] treats me [pretty] rough… [and] I hear ole missus tell [the widow] she [going] to sell me down to Orleans, but she didn’t want to, but she could [get] eight hund'd dollars for me, [and it was] such a big stack o' money she couldn' resis'" (Twain 157). The temptation of money clouded Miss Waton's reason so she was willing to give up Jim. Jim would suffer even more where slavery was in full force and he would also be separated from his family. Before Jim could find out what would really happen, he ran for his life.

Jim's plight to freedom is interesting and one of the main parts in Huck's adventures. Although hard to understand and really superstitious, Jim is kind hearted and more of a father figure to Huck than Pap. Readers can't help but feel sympathetic to Jim's situation. When Huck and Jim team up, Huck learns that Jim is at everyone's mercy, including his. Going against what society thinks is right, Huck tries to help and protect Jim. This internal battle of Huck's, whether he should return Jim to Miss Watson or help him to his freedom, is a big decision for a young boy. Jim goes on about what he will do once he gets his freedom and even says, "de ole true Huck; de on'y white genleman dat ever kep' his promise to ole Jim" (Twain 185). Hearing this and the thoughts going through Huck's mind, makes him feel sick. But when the time comes, Huck made up his mind to protect Jim against slave catchers (185-186).

Justin Kaplan discusses Huck's awareness to what is thought of as right vs. wrong. Kaplan wrote, But Huck eventually recognizes slavery for the wild thing it was. He follows the dictates of his sound heart and commits a sin as well as a crime by helping Jim to run away from his legal owner. All right, then, I'll go to hell," Huck says. "It was awful thoughts, and awful words, but they was said. And I let them stay said; and never thought no more about reforming (315-316). Huck saw past "civilization" by his society's standards to do the right thing and help someone in need.

By the end of Huck's adventures, Jim goes through much distress at the hands of "civilized" people. Shelly Fisher Fishkin best sums up Jim's unfortunate and unjust situation: Incarcerated in a tiny shack, with a ludicrous assortment of snakes, rats, and spiders… Jim is denied information... After risking his life to get the freedom that, unbeknownst to him, is already his, after proving himself to be a paragon of moral virtue… this legally free black man is still denied respect- and is still in chains. All of this happens… at the initiative of a respectable Tom Sawyer and churchgoing citizens like the Phelps and their neighbors (324-325). This goes hand-in-hand with what Julius Lester wrote: "Jim is a plaything, an excuse for the adventure of it," to be used as it suits the fancies of the white folk..." (315). Twain's Adventures of Huckleberry Finn illustrates how disgusting and evil racism and slavery is. He wanted to show how "civilized society" treated African Americans, even if they were free.

Overall, the hypocrisy of Huck's society and its members is seen in Twain's writing along with critic's point of view. Huck was being "brainwashed" by his adopted guardians, his dad, and friend, Tom Sawyer, but he was still able to break away from society's norms. The hypocrisy by these characters, especially in their behavior towards and about Jim and other slaves, convinced Huck that he should follow his intuition rather than what society dictates. Because Huck stood up for what is right, he was able to help Jim get his long awaited freedom.  

Works Cited

Fishkin, Shelly Fisher. "From Lighting Out for the Territory: Reflections on Mark Twain and       American Culture." The Norton Anthology: American Literature 1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 324-325. Print.

Kaplan, Justin. "From Born to Trouble": One Hundred Years of Huckleberry Finn." The Norton Anthology: American Literature 1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 315-316. Print.

Lester, Julius. "From Morality and Adventure of Huckleberry Finn." The Norton Anthology:    American Literature 1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York:            W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 315. Print.

Twain, Mark. "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn." The Norton Anthology: American Literature          1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York: W.W. Norton &             Company, 2012. 142-186. Print.

Gender Roles in the Late 1800s and Early 1900s

My 2nd paper for American Lit. class this past semester.

Around the late 1800s and early 1900s, there were specific roles for men and women as dictated by a male dominated society. Literature written about this time, especially those by women, told stories which described certain traditional gender roles. Examples of such included Kate Chopin's "The Story of an Hour" and The Awakening, and Charlotte Perkins Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper" and "To the Indifferent Women." The traditional gender roles that these two authors included in their stories and poem involved: women not working outside but men did, so men were the moneymakers while women were homemakers and mainly responsible for the family and home, but men did have some extent of responsibility inside the home as well. Women had more expectations put on their shoulders so when it became too much, some women did want to break free from the typical role of housewife and mother.

Primarily, women in society back in the late 1800s and early 1900s were not usually seen in the workforce. They were expected to keep to the house and take care of their family and home. Some women were even discouraged from any sort of work, even if it was done inside. For example, Gilman writes in "The Yellow Wallpaper", "So I… am absolutely forbidden to "work" until I am well again" (792). The "work" that is being discussed is later described as writing: "There comes John, and I must put this away- he hates to have me write a word" (Gilman 793). The simple task of writing that women used for expressing themselves was even denied. Furthermore, the lack of females working is also evident in Chopin's The Awakening. The fact that "Mr. Pontellier gave his wife half the money which he had brought away from Klein's hotel the evening before" (566), shows that he wanted to keep his wife satisfied for not having an income of her own. Mrs. Pontellier's contentment is seen in the following words: "She liked money as well as most women, and accepted it with no little satisfaction" (Chopin 566). Because women were made to stay indoors, they didn’t have the opportunity to earn money on their own. Any form of work other than housework was discouraged and made up for by giving some sort of "allowance" by men.

Due to the role of women staying at home, men were left to go out and be the breadwinners. In "The Yellow Wallpaper", the husband and brother were both "physicians of high standing" (Gilman 792). Since the family depended on the income of the male head of the household, the men still had to work, even if it meant working long hours and going away for days. This situation occurred in "The Yellow Wallpaper." Gilman writes, "John is away all day, and even some nights when his cases are serious" (794). Mr. Pontellier also had a few similar circumstances in The Awakening. For example, "He was returning to the city to his business, and they would not see him again at the island till the coming Saturday" (Chopin 566) and "As the day approached when he was to leave her for a comparatively long stay…" (Chopin 617). While women were meant to do all that was necessary to ensure a happy home, men had to do everything to secure wealth to make a happy home possible.

Since wealth was brought into the home by men, women had to take care of their family and home. These tasks as homemakers included the typical chores of looking after the safety and well being of children and spouse, and food and clothing being ready, whether done by the wife or maid. Generally, being a successful wife and mother was desirable. A lot of this behavior is seen in The Awakening. Mr. Pontellier had certain expectations for Edna and when she lacked the mother/wife role, his displeasure was mentioned. Chopin writes, " He reproached his wife with her inattention, her habitual neglect of the children. If it is not a mother's place to look after children, whose on earth was it?... He could not be in two places at once; making a living for his family on the street, and staying at home to see that no harm befell them" (565). Mr. Pontellier's mentality was common during his time period. Men believed their job was only outside and their wife's is inside. The mother role was further described as being easily recognizable. Mothers were seen "fluttering about with extended, protecting wings when any harm, real or imaginary, threatened their precious brood. They were women who idolized their children, worshipped their husbands…" (Chopin 567). Some women were accepting to this position of homemaker, like John's sister in "The Yellow Wallpaper." Gilman writes, "She is a perfect and enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for no better profession" (795). Women had more responsibilities at home as a wife and mother and were praised for their dedication to their family and home.

Although men's priority wasn’t inside the home, they still had some responsibilities. Men had to make sure their family's well being was fine. John in "The Yellow Wallpaper" illustrated this behavior clearly. His care went so far as to actually hurting his wife. John is described as "being very careful and loving, and hardly lets [his wife] stir without special direction" (Gilman 793). This special direction looks more like control than care. John's wife didn’t seem to agree with her husband's or brother's advice: "Personally, I disagree with their ideas. Personally, I believe that congenial work, with excitement and change, would do me good" (Gilman 792). Even though it may not have been their intention, men sometimes harmed women believing they were taking care of them properly. Louise Mallard felt this way. She thought, "…powerful will bending hers in that blind persistence with which men and women believe they have a right to impose a private will upon a fellow-creature. A kind intention or a cruel intention made the act seem no less a crime…" (Chopin 556-557). Women generally weren't outspoken back in the late 1800s and early 1900s, but some did recognize that they were being impaired.

With the lack of understanding from men and women having more responsibilities put on their shoulders, some women were struggling to break free from the gender roles in their time. People crack under pressure, so when it became too much, some women attempted to change their lives and experiment outside of the norm. They looked forward to a new life where they were independent, such as in "The Story of an Hour." At the news of a railroad accident and her husband's name being on the list of those killed, Mrs. Mallard was at first upset, " but she saw beyond that bitter moment a long procession of years to come that would belong to her absolutely. And she opened and spread her arms out to them in welcome. There would be no one to live for her during those coming years; she would live for herself" (Chopin 556). Little did Mrs. Mallard know, her husband was far away from the site of the accident and was alive to everyone's surprise. This surprise caused Mrs. Mallard to "die of heart disease- of a joy that kills" (Chopin 557), so she never got the chance to experience freedom.

Edna Pontellier did however get opportunities that other females were not able to have. For example, Edna socialized a lot, unlike John's wife from "The Yellow Wallpaper." One would think that she enjoyed the company she had and not being made to stay at home all day. But, even with this freedom that Mrs. Mallard was looking forward to in "The Story of an Hour" and that Edna had in The Awakening, Edna was not truly happy. Edna's awakening to the double standards around her turned her into a rebel by the end. She took her new freedom too extremely by taking off all her clothes, standing "naked in the open air" (Chopin 651). Again, people break when things become to overwhelming, so just as women desired freedom, when Edna got her wish, she drowned herself.

Because some female authors became aware of the double standards, they wrote against this. Gilman's sestina, "To the Indifferent Women," addressed women who are told to stay in their homes and work and that is their only duty. Gilman writes, "You who are happy in a thousand homes, or overworked therein... who told you that you need not know or care about the sin and sorrow of the world?" (1-6). The speaker makes strong points throughout the sestina to get the message across to women that they are important and needed both inside their homes and outside in society. For example, "The one and first duty of all human life is to promote the progress of the world in righteousness, in wisdom, truth and love" (Gilman 13-15). The solution that the speaker provides for the inclusion of women in society to better the world is, "When woman's life, in its rich power of love is joined with man's to care for all the world" (Gilman 38-39). Men and women both need to work together to make the world a better place.

Texts such as this sestina encourages women to get out of their "comfort" zone at home and help make a positive difference outside in the world. As for the other roles mentioned in the three stories that men and women had in the late 1800s and early 1900s, people need to be more open-minded. Men and women both need to change if they want to see improvement in the human race. Instead of thinking and acting like men from the past who preferred women to stay at home and not get involved in public, men need to accept that if women can be good mothers and wives, women can also be good members of the community. Women need to stand up for their rights and get involved in the outside world. They should not be passive, but active. Of course there is nothing wrong with women having a family and taking care of them, but life involves more people than just those in one's immediate surroundings. Men and women today are becoming more outspoken and outgoing, but there are still some changes that need to be made. This is possibly through education and exposure to the truth, whether through literature or media.

Works Cited

Chopin, Kate. "The Awakening." The Norton Anthology: American Literature 1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 565-651. Print.

---. “The Story of an Hour.” The Norton Anthology: American Literature 1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 556-557. Print.

Gilman, Charlotte P. "The Yellow Wallpaper." The Norton Anthology: American Literature 1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 792-795. Print.

  ---. “To the Indifferent Women.” The Norton Anthology: American Literature 1865-1914. Ed. Nina Baym and Robert S. Levine. 8th ed. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, 2012. 805. Print.

Heaven, Hell, or Somewhere in Between?

My 4th "mini" essay for Euro. Lit class.

Life is full of options that go through many different paths. Since humans are given free will, some choose to obey the commands of God for their own good while others do the opposite, harming themselves. But the majority, unfortunately, are “on the fence,” living in between the good and bad, picking and choosing “buffet style” what to believe/follow. The latter lifestyle leads people to say they don’t need to follow any religion/way of life, but they will just live a “good” life. People fool themselves, justifying their “good” behavior and saying they won’t be punished for having a neutral position in life. Dante writes about his journey through Hell in Inferno, including a level for neutrals where individuals, who lead uncommitted lives, choosing neither good nor evil during their time on earth, are punished. Dante answers the questions of why and how neutrals are punished and he gives an example of someone he meets on his journey who suffers such a fate.

Primarily, in Canto III, Dante asks Virgil who the people that are crying out in pain are. Virgil replies, "This is the sorrowful state of souls unsure, whose lives earned neither honor nor bad fame. And they mingled with angels of that base sort who, neither rebellious to God nor faithful to Him, choose neither side, but kept themselves apart" (Alighieri 698-699). According to Dante, neutrals have a place within Hell and are still punished for not committing to either good or bad. He compares this to some "fallen" angels who did likewise.

Dante further inquires of Virgil what the punishments of these souls are, which Virgil explains: "Now heaven expels them, not to mar its splendor, and Hell rejects them, lest the wicked of earth take glory over them" (Alighieri 699). Dante looks to see “a whirling banner sped at such a rate it seemed it might never stop; behind it a train of souls… Hapless ones never alive, their bare skin galled by wasps and flies, blood trickling down the face, mingling with tears for harvest underfoot by writhing maggots” (Alighieri 699). Virgil tells Dante upon this scene that neutrals don’t deserve Heaven and all its glory while Hell won't accept them either, in case people on earth who are also neutral become hopeful for a position in the afterlife or praise them. The blank banner that these souls chase symbolizes the meaningless lives neutrals lived on Earth. Because the neutrals didn’t commit to either side, wasps, flies, and maggots continuously keep them moving in pain.

Dante comes across an individual amongst the neutrals. This person "who made the Great Refusal, impelled by cowardice" (Alighieri 699), is probably a reference to Pope Celestine V. The pope was elected in 1294 at age 80 and resigned five months later (Alighieri 699). His resignation made it possible for corrupt leaders to rule, thus the pope is being punished just like the other neutrals. While there is no way to guarantee the actions of others, being in a high position means one should be capable of leadership, thus one is responsible for corruption that may happen under one's watch.     

As for the neutrals of the past and present who say they don’t need to follow any religion/ way of life, but will just live a “good” life, the question becomes what is "good" and according to whose standards? For example, there is a country in central Africa where stealing isn't punishable (Purpose). Societies like these determine what is acceptable or not. Yet what one person/society may accept, others won't. There is no universal standard for good and bad in situations like these. Thus, God needs to tell His human creations what is acceptable and what isn't for their own good in this life and the next through messengers and scriptures.

Additionally, people fool themselves, justifying their “good” behavior and saying they won’t be punished for having a neutral position in life. What if one sees someone stealing? Knowing that stealing isn't good, is it okay not to stop the thief? If someone says, "It's not my business," then just like the situation involving the pope mentioned previously, one is letting evil to take place. The world will only get more corrupted with this attitude. If one doesn’t stop wickedness from occurring when one has the power to do so, then that should be punishable, just like Dante believes. It is only fair. If our stuff was being stolen we would care and want help, but we feel we do not need to do the same for others. Whether or not Dante was right in his descriptions of neutrals being punished in Hell is one thing, but one needs to understand that not forbidding bad (or promoting good) is bad in itself.

Dante gives a brief glimpse of the fate of neutrals according to what he believes. His journey to Hell and back is one version in literature of what happens when one dies. Dante establishes justification for neutrals being punished for sinning, since they chose to do evil while alive. God gave humans free will, and because He is Just, God punishes people for their bad choices in Hell and rewards those who do good actions according to His commands in Heaven. Every action humans do in life should be well thought through, because it will come back to bite. 

Works Cited

Alighieri, Dante. "Inferno Canto III." The BedfordAnthology of World Literature. Vol. 2.          Boston: Bedford/St. Martin, 2004. 697-99. Print.

Purpose of Life. Perf. Kamal El Mekki. YouTube. N.p., 21 Mar. 2009. Web. 8 Apr. 2013.             https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fn5gXHINbNc.